It’s time to stop using an outdated and derogatory word to define a cleft lip.
While waiting for my mother to pick me up after school, I heard the taunts from the other kids: “Hey, monkey face, I’m talking to you!” “Your mother had sex with a monkey.” “No, her mother had sex with a rabbit; that’s why she has a harelip!” “Yeah! Look at her harelip, just like a rabbit.” The bullying I encountered was relentless and not a day went by when I didn’t hear those hurtful phrases. Yet, among all the taunts and offensive terms the kids would yell at me, the most hurtful word was harelip. It was an easy word for kids to say repeatedly in a taunting, singsong, and cruel manner. Even the doctors and medical professionals used it to refer to my cleft lip!
“Hey, monkey face, I’m talking to you!” “Your mother had sex with a monkey.” “No, her mother had sex with a rabbit; that’s why she has a harelip!” “Yeah! Look at her harelip, just like a rabbit.”
(L to R) Normal lip and palate, Unilateral cleft lip and normal palate, unilateral cleft lip and palate, bilateral cleft lip and palate, bilateral cleft palate. (image created by author)
What is a Cleft Lip?
A cleft lip occurs when the lip or palate (or both) do not properly form before birth creating a gap from the upper lip that sometimes extends into the palate. The opening (cleft) can be on one side of the lip or both sides of the lip. As the image illustrates, the cleft can extend into the palate or affect the lip only or palate only. A baby can be born with only a cleft lip, only a cleft palate or both, a cleft lip and palate.
The word harelip was used in the late 1800s and early 1900s, as a medical term to refer to someone with a cleft lip and palate. The term became so common that society continued to use this ugly and hurtful word and eventually turned the word into an insult that would be used to refer to someone with a cleft lip, like me. Today, the cleft-community abbreviates the word harelip as the H-word.
Using the H-Word is a Form Of Bullying
The word harelip is a derogatory slur, just like all other banned words from society. In 2020, I wrote an article about Wendy Williams mocking actor Joaquin Phoenix where she stopped just short of calling his cleft lip a harelip. Despite her use of the offensive H-word, there was minimal backlash and public outrage. Why? I imagine that if Wendy Williams used a racial slur to mock a person of color, or the R-word to describe people with intellectual disabilities, there probably would have been much more public outcry.
Referring to someone’s cleft lip as harelip is no different than using a slur against a minority group. Such language is equally offensive and harmful and perpetuates discrimination and marginalization. Hearing or reading the H-word is highly triggering for nearly everyone with a cleft lip, including parents and grandparents of children with a cleft lip. Every time I hear the H-word, I am reminded of the endless bullying I endured, 20+ surgeries I had to repair my cleft lip and palate, and the social isolation I experienced. Using the word reinforces the exclusion of the cleft community at a time when society is committed to inclusion, acceptance, and diversity.
Every time I hear the H-word, I remember the endless bullying I endured, the 20+ surgeries I had to repair my cleft lip and palate, and the social isolation I experienced.
Christine Errico 6 Years Old
The Origin of the H-Word
I gave a TEDx talk about the challenges of growing up with a cleft lip where I mentioned the derogatory nature of the H-word. After my talk, many audience members told me they had no idea how hurtful and offensive that word was. One retired nurse said, “I thought that was the proper laymen’s term for a cleft lip. I heard it all the time in the hospital I used to work in.” Another older gentleman told me, “I had no idea that word was so hurtful! My childhood friend with a cleft lip used to refer to his lip with that term all the time”.
Christine giving her TEDx Talk
Generations of Folklore and Stories
The word harelip originated from variations of an old folk tale about the Moon splitting the hare’s lip. One version from Uncle Remus’ stories along with versions from the Hausa, Bushmen, and Hottentots tribes from Africa tell the story of the Moon instructing Rabbit to send a message to Mankind that they will return to life when they die but the Rabbit fails to deliver the Moon’s message. When the Moon finds this out, she gets angry and strikes the Rabbit, splitting his lip.
Another version told by Chitimacha Indians tell the story where the Rabbit falls and splits his lip on the way to deliver the message to the Moon. In other countries, like Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and the British Isles, their folklore says that a cleft lip occurs when a pregnant woman sees a rabbit during her pregnancy, thereby giving birth to a child with a cleft lip, which is how a cleft lip came to be called a harelip.
Depending on where a person grew up or how old they are, many people do not realize the hurtful nature of the H-Word. Older generations of people do not perceive the H-word as derogatory. To them, they grew up hearing the H-word all the time and do not realize how offensive it is for someone with a cleft lip. For people who grew up or lived in foreign countries, the H-Word may not have the same hurtful meaning as it does for someone in the United States. I’ve seen numerous disagreements on social media and creating significant drama over the use of the H-Word, thereby demonstrating the misunderstandings as to the offensive nature and outdated use of this word.
The Cause of a Cleft Lip
None of these folk tales are true. Doctors don’t know what causes a cleft lip or cleft palate. It could be from genetics, medication, environmental factors, or a vitamin deficiency. Regardless of the cause, a cleft lip and palate certainly is not from a mother seeing a rabbit while pregnant. It’s not from the Moon getting mad at the hare. A cleft lip is not caused my mother getting kicked in the stomach while pregnant (another term I heard while growing up) and a cleft lip is not because of any of the other folklore tales or misbeliefs circulating among society.
Consequences of Using the H-Word
In addition to being an incorrect term to refer to a cleft lip, there are many other reasons why the word harelip must not be used:
1. It’s derogatory
Nobody wants to be compared to an animal, especially in a negative or hurtful way. More importantly, it compounds the shame that people with a cleft lip already have about themselves.
2. It Fosters Loneliness
Think of a time you were called a negative term — fat, lazy, stupid or blondie. How did that make you feel? Alone? Ashamed? Defective? Those are feelings that bubble up within a person who has a cleft lip when they hear the H-Word.
3. It Is Considered Hate Speech
As a society, we stopped the use of minority and racial slurs, and eliminated the R-word to describe someone with an intellectual disability. It’s time to continue the humanity by eradicating the hurtful and hateful word used to describe a cleft lip.
4. It’s Incorrect
The technically correct medical term for a cleft lip is cheiloschisis but it is commonly referred to as cleft lip, the accepted and proper term. If a person has a cleft lip and palate, then the correct term is cleft lip and palate.
5. It’s Exclusive
Individuals with a cleft lip and palate are excluded at a time when humanity is committed to inclusion, acceptance and diversity! Why is that? By eliminating use of the H-Word, people of all ages with a cleft lip, along with future generations who will be born with a cleft lip, can be part of a welcoming, inclusive and safe society where everyone is accepted regardless of their facial differences.
Help Eliminate the H-Word
The only way the H-word can be eradicated and take its rightful place next to all other banned words is to stop using it. Share your newfound knowledge about the outdated nature of the term. Next time you hear or see someone referring to a cleft lip by any other word other than a cleft lip, tell them what you just read. Together, we can create an empowering, safe and inclusive environment for cleft-affected individuals without the stigma and shame associated with a facial deformity
Wow, I never knew this!! Thank you for this information! I’m 62 years old and have a cleft lip and palate and had many surgeries. My childhood was also very much like yours. I still have some issues as far as how I look even with the surgeries to fix it. I have been looking on line to find places where I can talk to parents, children and adults struggling today going through what we have been through. That has been my passion for a very long time. People have no idea of the struggles, depression, anxiety and the life of not being excepted. I can go on and on, if I can reach and teach many, I would feel blessed!!! I also want to write a book on my rough journey from childhood to adulthood. “Teach And Reach”
Thank you for sharing! There are so many misconceptions about cleft lip and palate. I encourage you to write your book!! Some other adults in our community have done so and shared their stories.